Kelsey

Well, that was a ridiculous run.

2003-12-03T00:51:42Z

Turns out, I can't do this public thing.

Why do you read my journal if you hate it so much?

Friends only. Comment or add me and I'll add you back.

In New York City's war on crime...

2003-12-01T02:12:18Z

I'm so in love with LOCI.

I think I may very well know more of them than I think. It's a thought.

I'm feeling lots of stress right now from an unknown source. It's making me feel ill as anything. Went to Susan's tonight. Good lot that did. Teresa and Alicia. Where were those two? Oh, yes. Doing something else. Poor Susan was sick as anything, too. I feel so bad for that poor thing. I think she should just skip school tomorrow. If Zach Koch weren't such a dear and giving me a ride, I certainly would be.

Susan says Courtney might be in the hospital because his mother thinks he's anorexic. To that I say PSHAW. That boy eats. I've seen that boy eat. If anything, he's bulemic, but if he is, he's certainly got a technique that I'm not familiar with. A technique that involves eating then waiting a period of time.

I miss Laura a lot. I'm so scared that she's going to leave me. I can't imagine where she'd go, but if she leaves I'll die.

I'm feeling the tiniest bit scorned by someone. But there's another time and place to aire those feelings.

My period can suck my penis.

Flairrr

2003-11-30T04:02:46Z

Something more interesting, now that I've thought of it:

When I was out this evening, I drove around the parking lot of the mall after accompanying Laura in picking up her friends.
Had me pretty broken up, too.

So then I wandered into BestBuy. I'm looking at music when a middle aged woman asks me "Excuse me, Ma'am? Do you know what kind of music Linkin Park is?"

I think I probably made a terrible face out of instinct. "Rap metal?" I said, "It'll be here in 'pop/rock.'"

I'm not sure what significance this has in real life, but I was very taken aback.

There were also two pretty guys there. They gave me a look like "what are you doing here?" as though I were a kitten that got soaked in a torrential rain and wandered into a dog park for solace.
I was again taken aback.

Needless to say, I didn't buy anything tonight.

Oh, and get this...

2003-11-30T03:56:26Z

Courtney's in the hospital

::worried::

Mayhaps I should call Laura.

Whoever thinks it's funny

2003-11-30T03:23:56Z

to keep getting into my LJ and changing things, please cut it out.
I'm getting annoyed.

Update Journal...

2003-11-29T19:17:47Z

If somebody doesn't confirm our plans, it's going to be tough going, because I'm not going to go out and pick somebody up, because it's too goddamn cold.

I was kind of hoping someone might want to come to my house tonight. We could start a fire and watch Christmas specials on tape. I'd even borrow White Christmas from Laura, as it's my favourite.
I'd even make hot chocolate and bake shortbread cookies.
I'd even decorate the house non-denomenational winter holiday style.
I'd even let someone help.

Christmas season rocks.

Christmas itself I could take or leave.

<3

You wish

2003-11-28T05:59:13Z

Jesus H.
Why does everyone hate me right now?

I think I'll move to a foreign land and change my name to something cryptic.

Who wants to go with me? I'll bring cake.

You were so condescending.

Bernie Mac is black.
He's gay.
He's happy all the time.

Well, that was a pain in the ass.

2003-11-28T04:58:28Z

Thanks, Jon. I'll assume it was you, Jon, dear, because you're the only one that knew my password. I'm not upset, but I'm hoping for an explination. Especially since I don't think I've made you angry.

At anyrate, I've lost my original entry. But it was about my plans. Now I'm too bored to retype it.

Eek. the Sharon Osbourne show is coming up next on WGN.

DataFax

2003-11-28T04:47:07Z

Fuck whoever stole my password. They can go touch themselves.

You'll be doing alright

2003-11-27T21:58:40Z

But I'll have a blue (blue blue blue) Christmas.

Happy Thanks(fornothing)giving.

That's not entirely true. The day as of now has been neither entirely happy nor thankless.
And if I weren't slowly losing blood, I'd be even more thankful.

Reasons I'm thankful:
1. Grandpa managed to make everyone in the restaurant uncomfortable by yelling on the top of his lungs that everyone in there truly was old!
2. Laura. I'd love to elaborate, but I just can't add anything to such a comprehensive response to the prompt. I love Laura to death. Even when I'm hating her and worrying myself sick over her, I love her.
3. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I don't like Christmas very much, but I certainly love the look, the smell, the feel of winter and its many holidays, specifically Christmas. I love everyone's excitement. I love Secret Santas.
4. Courtney. Here's to new and less annoying friends. (Even if he is a compulsive kleptomaniac.)
5. Gingerbread cookies. If I liked ginger, I'd be eating them constantly. Until I acquire such a taste, I'll simply adore the smell and look of them. Last year Miera strung them on thick red and green ribbons and hung them around the house, spreading their lovely aroma.
6. Mistletoe. Where the hell is the mistletoe? I've never stood underneath mistletoe, but it always brings a smile to my face at the Christmas Eve party when people stand underneath the dried spinach we pretend is mistletoe and kiss. Thier red noses touch and the cold seems to melt away, even for the rest of the people in the house. It's simply lovely.
7. Mixtapes. I think I would simply melt at the feet of anyone who made me one. Especially if it didn't suck.
8. My daddy. I miss him a lot right now. But he's in town, so I hope I see him sometime. I think that would be lovely. Yeah. I think that'd be very nice.
9. White Christmas. I want to watch White Christmas real bad. It seems like that would be so lovely. To watch it, and eat gingerbread during the commercials, with a fire in the fireplace. I want to hear Bing sing. With someone warm near by.
10. Frank Sinatra. The voice. Why can't he sing to me all the time? I think I deserve it.

And what did [he] do? [He] thought about [me].

I can pretend to be friends

2003-11-27T02:00:30Z

I have a smiley face on my hand, and a short black line on my neck.
Thank you, Courtney.

The woman on TV has a huge nose.

QE
<3

I need something big.

Shablam

Dear Zach Koch...

2003-11-25T02:02:03Z

Aren't you special, Dear?

This is too ridiculous.

2003-10-28T00:45:55Z

I'm going friends only.

If you want to be a friend, comment or something. If you don't, feck off, because you're being a bitch.

"Thank you for buying me dinner"

2003-10-28T00:10:05Z

I don't really want to write about this, but you know how sometimes all you can think about is your own misery? And you want to write about how things are good and how you're actually glad Miera's home (!!!), and how it was nice... but you can't until you write about how you feel like you're dying.

And I mean that very literally. Without delving too deeply into it, I feel like I'm dying of some rare disease that no one knew the cure to. And not one of those teenage angst diseases. Just one of those run of the mill extremely rare - and fatal - diseases. Maybe they'll name it after me. Kelsey's disease.

Anyway, aside from my crippling physical pain...

Miera locked herself out of the house this afternoon. It made me so sad.
At deadline, I got food. I brought Jonah and Max, and it was kind of nice to see that things can work. I think they can, anyway. Maybe they can't.

But upon returning, I was asked (maybe. maybe I offered) to go out again. To the same McDonalds. So this time I brought Sam. I like Sam. We're not the same kind of person, I realize, but she's a nice girl, anyway. So we got more food, and Max paid for my food (so <3 Max. something like that), and we returned with sustinance in tow, and that included some food for Loren, Homer's little sister. I kind of like her. She seems good.

I think I'm dead on the inside. I've lost my passion for everything. I don't really care what goes on around me. People ask if I have any news, or if we should have a chat, and I feel so foreign. I'm tired a lot. I have no interest in any real human interaction. Maybe with a few people. But not as many as seems healthy. Or normal. Well-adjusted. One of those kinds of words. I feel like I'm just there. And right now, I guess I'm okay with that. But I also feel heavily sedated right now.

I think that's all I have to say. I kind of want to be warm.

The best list ever.

2003-10-27T03:09:31Z

This list kicks so much fucking ass. This is a compilation of names. Names that should make anyone run in the oposite direction. Names of suckass boyfriends.
And while I stole this from Jon's journal, I'm in love with it and have adopted it's cloned sister.

- Chad -
Annoying, demanding, hits females, asshole, self centered bitchs!
- Chay -
He plays mind games and makes you feel like shit
- Chris -
will dump you because he doesnt want a girlfriend then will meet a girl at a show in another state and proceed to go out with her.
- collin -
lies to get into your head and make you feel like your needed then sleeps with you just to dig more into you then just breaks you apart completely. also usualy horrible in bed.
- Dan -
Lying jerks just looking to get laid and then lie about it
- Derrick -
just plain stupid. move to california without telling you. ha. fucker.
- Evan -
harrasses/stalks you after you break up with him
- greg -
stupid fucker that acts like he doesn't want you when you're there, then when you're gone he sends you naked pictures to your inbox so you can be more disgusted with him.
- James -
He welds. Enough said.
- Jason -
break up with you so they can quit smoking but really never even broke it off with their previous gf
- Jim -
an idiot who tries to be romantic but just smothers you
- joey -
see steve
- Ken -
Bastards who fall out of love overnight and don't mind breaking up on your anniversary in the morning before school starts
- Kirby -
uses you and then dates a lazy eye'd heffer
- Larry -
Will do anything and everything he can in order to get into a girls pants, cheater, liar, cry baby, stupid, annoying, smothers you, fake, asshole, immature,
- Matt -
cheater, poser, jerk, insensitive
- Max -
they think they are above others and they think they are smart, but thats only because all their friends are really dumb
- Mike -
He'll tell you things you want to hear so your feelings won't be hurt and then suddenly go straight
- Peter -
moves to Canada on your birthday
- Phil -
presumptuous and arrogant
- Reuben -
cheats on you with 3 different girls who all go to your school
- Robert -
they are self centered assholes
- Steve -
liar, cheat, fake, conartist, immature users
- Zack/zach -
ASSHOLE

Can you guess which one I added? Well, you'd probably be wrong. And if you knew which one was mine, you'd probably think significantly less of me.

Anyway, the idea is that if you had a name to add, you would comment with the name and the reason that they suck ass.

No one reads my journal, but if someone happens upon it and wishes to add, I guess you could comment, but it's Jon's list.

<3
(<3 Jon)

Christ.

2003-10-26T20:00:51Z

Lady and the Tramp

Until today it was a sweet love story of two dogs. One extremely gorgeous and ragged mut, and a purebred bitch cockerspaniel.
I was confused when someone told me that Tramp was based on Gene Kelly.

Now I see that it's really a whore dog (attractive as he may be) seducing and corrupting a nice little girl dog.

That makes me sad.

Lady and the Tramp was the only movie I'd seen until I was something like eight.
::sad::

I love Spiderman, too.

2003-10-26T18:59:10Z

Suddenly I realize why I felt so fat all of last week. And why I've been in such a bad mood. And why I feel so sick this morning.

Jesus. How do you forget stuff like that?

::is cold and miserable::

What what.

I brake for

2003-10-26T06:51:15Z

I was going to talk about how I've been having thoughts I shouldn't let myself have.
I was going to say that I've got a thing for things.

But instead I thought about things.

Now I'm saying that it's sad how Monday means that things are going back to normal. I have to savour tomorrow as best I can, because 12.01 Monday morning takes things back to the way they were before.

How weird is that?

And you will still want me.

2003-10-25T23:21:48Z

Sometimes I just feel a little lonely. Like Laura did when things were the opposite with James. But now she has Pat and I'm... not having a boy.

It's okay.
I just need to find an attractive blind boy with lots of money. Then I'll have it made.

You and moi

2003-10-25T06:06:41Z

What the fuck is up with fucking Indiana winters?

Why isn't it warrrm?

::shiver::

Yes.

::shiver::

Saw School of Rock today.
::shiver::
Yeah. Kids with guitars. Nice.
::shiver::

What the hell. I'm going to go set fire to something near me.

Sleay

2003-10-25T03:14:10Z

kaleidoscopic
instant
saporous
spontaneous

I'm a tiny bit preoccupied..

Good night Good night sweet thing

2003-10-24T01:08:35Z

I hate all boys with a passion.
All boys that I know, anyway.

I'm now officially on the lookout for a nice boy. No the nice boy. I know that there's only one. I'm sure that there's only one. In the world. And I'm going to find him.

And I'm going to kill all the messy, dirty, cruel, terrible boys I know now.

.

If you're reading this...

2003-10-23T01:18:47Z

You'll know who you are. And I know who you are. I know it was you. And I know that you're a secretive bitch. So pull out your claws; I'm ready to fight.

Tupac forever

2003-10-22T22:28:00Z

"I can tell that we are going to be friends"
"It's cool, we can still be friends"
"If you hate your friends, you're not alone"
"Friends of P"

Can I tell you?

2003-10-22T17:58:40Z

I was walking to lunch and this girl was yelling at her friend.

Girl 1: "Anyways, bitch, whatchoo havvin!"
Girl 2: "A boy"
Girl 1: "Ugh! Why you havvin a boy? Evrybody havvin a boyy... Lewwanda be havvin a boy! Shawneece be havvin a boyy!"

It made me laugh on the inside.

Today is going to be very hard to explain to Miera.

The seconds are ticking away to that dreadful "talk." I'm thinking I'll just skip it. I have my car. I can make a daring getaway.
Eh. I feel sick. And like I have a fever.

David Piper is such a nice boy. I gave him all his essay things and such.

I'm going down the road to those tiny cities made of ashes...